On the starting line, I could feel my stomach jumping and Charging like a Wrecking ship was going to smash through my head, my legs were like jelly, my heart was pounding like a volcano that was going to explode, I could hear the people shouting and cheering through everyone's ears. I felt like i wanted to go but there was no way out, Mr Burt slammed the two bricks together and everyone were blasting and charging towards the line. We were blasting like wild lions going across the field and Our Legs were sprinting like a cheaters was chasing it’s prey and Our legs were filled with pain. Well we were still running we were huffing and puffing like the big bad wolf was gonna blow down everyone. My arms were red like it was burning water fire. I was relieved to see the finish line in my eyes. My sweat felt like a water fountain dripping down, my cheeks were burning with boiling hot water, my legs were shaking like an earthquake and my back felt like it was getting grill. When I was running I could hear shouting and yelling like there was a Olympics happening, but it was. Once I got on the finish line my face was filled with happiness and I am a person that never gives up.
Some nice descriptive writing here Hendrix. You have done a great job in showing not telling your readers. Take care not to have random capital letters in your writing (check out the first line).
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